Razorblade Poetry Read online

I watched you die!

  I scarred myself to love another,

  and held on deeper than my soul could bear.

  It wasn't fair.

  Tokyo's Neon Lights

  the dazzling streets of Tokyo

  did not hide her, shadows crept

  alongside her

  earrings.

  Sparkling rubies dangling, fleshy

  lobes illuminated,

  in the neon wellspring of bodies.

  Creep, creep,

  the creepers sweep,

  shuddering and gasping at her

  body.

  teeth gnashing, fingers grasping

  folds of cloth in her image.

  lips, full and pouted in dread.

  the sounds of their footsteps ring through her head,

  beats through her breast,

  thump thump THUMP.

  Demons, beadily staring at her luscious breasts

  and thrust tongues of malice toward an open, empty space.

  "We should not peep at goblin men,"

  but heels of red don't whisper but click.

  her neon reflection did not flail or seduce them,

  did not squeeze or fool them.

  but crumpled and confused them...

  Girl in Disaster

  shut up, silence,

  fear what you have

  fear what you have.

  my dress catches the stairs,

  pulling me down

  to the devil.

  i can't scream, i can't escape.

  what you have, i have forsake

  the ice covers every heart in my land

  and every word

  travels naught

  for sins we've shed into our glasses

  of champagne

  and beds of love, lust, and games.

  my lies are the validation i've used

  to live where death has won and

  seen a life in death

  too great for men.

  The Shadow of Me

  i sit here inside myself

  i sit here inside myself

  a creature i once knew exists

  and i fear its growth.

  i fear what it knows.

  shudder, gasp, release

  you're every demon in me

  i want to hide your secrets

  in a well i made myself--

  high and towering in the skies

  violet and jasmine eyes

  cast down stares of hope

  while yellow scorn my

  hands are burnt and red

  from tying you down there

  i climb down everyday

  to make sure we are safe.

  hold on to me,

  your home is in a land of symphonies,

  and fields of bubbling prosperity

  so many colors and winds of rain

  as long as you stay

  in the darkest place.

  Cameraman

  take my picture

  legs sprawled

  haphazardly

  across the floor.

  TAKE my picture

  arms outstretched,

  begging to be captured

  skin white,

  matte

  shaven...clean.

  take MY picture

  i beg for you

  with my eyes

  green with specks of gold.

  you are mine, and i am yours

  eternally.

  take my PICTURE

  and let me die with it

  my body

  unhidden

  from you.

  my camera man,

  capturing me

  with your

  eyes.

  Divination

  you say you love me still

  but how can i see past your guilt

  for blaming you i've died so many deaths

  and still i lay in my coffin alone

  the thunder rolls over my head, telling me the same story

  i've been telling myself

  what are your secrets

  you hide so close

  in a heart that you've covered in rust

  like me

  you've fallen

  and i just want to save you

  i've drawn a card

  it's letters are etched into my head

  but you don't see them

  when the doors open and you beg me to

  let you in

  will you hide them

  ghosts in your mind

  trying to seize a hold of me

  and never let go

  with all my powers stripped away

  you are nothing but a game

  and the deck doesn't show

  anything i didn't all ready know

  Sugar

  her hand rests on a tablecloth

  stained with blood, wine, and chocolate bars

  i can taste the smell from here

  acidic and sweet

  poison in the atmosphere

  all right, she's dead now

  all right, where do we go from here

  maybe her ghost in the halls

  can hear me

  ask her why

  moonlight can't hide

  her face tonight

  despite all her makeup

  and feel responsible

  her head rests on her dinner plate

  like it's just for us to see her there

  with her heart hammered into the chair

  i could never be like you

  i could never be like you

  so what do i live for

  what do i live for

  cold heart, you have a cold heart

  that's never beating

  i loved your smile, i loved your hair, i loved the way you laughed

  and said, "i'm okay, i'm okay"

  i never knew

  and i couldn't do

  what you wanted for us in the end

  you asked for sugar in a cup

  but i should have known you were looking for something more

  Dark Garden

  dark garden, bathed in light

  so far away and unreachable

  every footstep is a savoring of the sweet

  delicate balance of earth, regeneration,

  and vines.

  every tree calls, whispers, a voice

  unheard and unspoken for centuries

  their place, their time,

  unknown by kind

  worshiped under the damp, harsh sky

  they dance, dancing in circles

  rotating their hips in a primal way

  unbound by love or fate

  too concerned with the shaman to care

  chant, chant

  the trees and the wind scream

  their voices heard for just a minute

  before quieting back down

  to the low moaned whispers

  they never escape

  Death's Apprentice

  A fae came to take me away,

  a lost little heart in a wicked place.

  My spirit rose to go with you, my darkest fears,

  my deepest gloom.

  You, my love, death itself, a harbinger of destruction.

  Yet you stand by my side.

  Like a brother, like a lover,

  like my darkest nights bleeding into an ashtray that only ever held

  the ashes of poems I couldn't stand to see.

  My pain, my ease.

  Contrary to popular belief, you do not creep down corridors or peep

  through eldery doors,

  You don't for me.

  I've seen you in my dreams, as a child, as an older, stranger person.

  You stood atop my house, robes billowing, hand gesturing,

  lips unseen, whispering.

  And I knew you had come for me.

  My sweet, sweet death.

  My untold path.

  My eternal dreams.

  I dwell with thee.

  Emily

/>   A ghost she is,

  and I love her still.

  Though she cannot see me.

  Her gaze is blocked by a solid fog,

  and though her face looms, it is blind.

  Her dress is the same that she wore when she died,

  and her eyes are the same glazed blue.

  I wish I could touch her silver skin,

  but it's too far,

  yet so close

  in her corner.

  Emily, my favorite Emily,

  you were the one.

  Your quill sits there, on your empty desk

  where you left me a note.

  I thought I'd catch you one last time.

  The gray snow drifts across the yard,

  and your favorite tree swings down to me.

  I imagine you're sitting

  on a branch up there, just grinning and swinging your legs.

  Your blue dress blows, and your white shirt glows under the

  sunrise.

  Just wish you'd found heaven,

  but we both know you'd never fit in.

  My sweet Emily, so strange and everything

  I wanted.

  Circumstance

  The dew leaves glistened with lavender rain,

  as the fae started dancing about the glen

  we heard a name called out to us.

  Mystified, we ventured forth

  toward a rose bush none of us had seen before.

  It vines were wicked, crooked, and twinkling...

  as if evil little stars grew from their misery.

  A rose of black grinned fragrantly at us,

  and our little hearts beat.

  Intoxicated, poisoned.

  We dashed to and fro,

  we smote those around us.

  Our glittering sand became demons entrenched

  in our hands.

  The land became blackened, burning with coal,

  as the rose became a woman.

  She hurt us still more.

  Her elongated fingers, studded with onyx pearls,

  beckoned us forward into her realm of revolt.

  We set forth into a dark age where we did not but hurt.

  Our children became Changelings, who we greedily replaced,

  with slaves of the mortals,

  bathed in disgrace.

  Centuries passed beneath the crown of the wicked.

  Our roses sit in vines fashioned around our heads,

  which we add to every year

  to mourn our own deaths.

  Faded and spectral, wraiths all remain.

  In the land of the fairies,

  where magic once reigned.

  Dire Sympathy

  When did I become such a failure,

  was it written in the stars?

  How could lose all that I'd striven for

  in a matter of four months?

  And everyday, I sit and I wait for

  something else to emerge.

  I don't want your pity,

  your ego isn't what I'm looking for.

  I just want to be a creature one again,

  living with a heartbeat and trying to wrestle

  fears and doubts.

  Don't give me dire sympathy.

  I'm just a girl without a real plan.

  It seemed that I had one

  but then it just disappeared.

  You look at me like I'm such a failure,

  but you were the one who let me down

  before.

  The universe is full of regrets,

  I don't want one.

  Don't label me,

  I'm only free, and that's what I deserve.

  What is Tearing Us Apart

  Fur-lined rugs shroud my gaze.

  You stand over my estate, drenched in the perfume of blood.

  Murder is never enough!

  You take a dagger, lined with jewels,

  thrust it into me and I break the rules.

  I cry out, for the millionth time.

  I never meant to call out your name,

  but it hurt so much I swear

  it was an honest mistake.

  Take my wrists, slash them apart,

  I don't care

  as long as you understand

  it's not just my fault.

  Every star bathing you in misery

  is just another scapegoat for me.

  You pick us like rodents, toss me around.

  The stars have their safety but I'm on the ground.

  I wish you could see

  you're tearing me apart.

  Demon in Me

  Withered, dank, and musty, an attic worn and cold.

  I sit here thinking of my sins, and the sins that I

  have sold.

  A gentle lady came to me in a dream three nights ago,

  with glistening eyes that bathed me drenched

  in a totally different world.

  I was a demon, a smelly scamp, a creature with no

  existence except to reap the accursed souls.

  My eyes were black, my skin was white, and I became

  the ancient fears of olden days.

  I scratched my knobbly fingers across the glass panes

  of a child's window,

  and I sank my teeth into the heart of a decrepit, lonely

  widow.

  Her husband, she did cry out for, with her weak arms

  outstretched.

  I laughed with glee as I ate her bones,

  but feared his coming wrath.

  Christians did it seem to have a sort of bubbly wrap.

  I poked and prodded at each plastic bubble,

  a head of a woman and a man's leg.

  They lost their lives, when the sheet did pop

  and I was satisfied.

  When I awoke to find myself trapped within my body,

  I shrieked in horror at what I knew, and fled to the dusty attic.

  She haunts my dreams, in the leaks and mold,

  I see her wicked grin.

  For what I fear the most is not her

  but what I could have been.

  Hi! Glad to see you here if you've managed to get to the end. I hope you enjoyed my poetry, but I understand if you did not. It can be a love-hate kind of thing, I suppose. I love to write stories and poetry, so this is just a way for me to get my feet wet in publishing. I tend to focus on dark, outlandish characters and situations. I enjoy literature, poetry, music, and being weird. This year, I hope to write more poetry, get a corset, dye my hair pink, and publish a decent book with the right format. Ha!

  Thank you for your support, and I always appreciate any feedback.

  Love, Jessica